I live in a blended household. I'm a vegan (duh), and my partner Paul is an omnivore. He doesn't often buy raw meat or cook raw meat. Gross. But he does buy canned soups, TV dinners, and other convenience foods that have meat in them. We don't generally eat together unless we dine out. I eat dinner when I get home from work, and he usually just snacks all night when he gets home. It works out well. More leftovers for me from the meals I cook. Separate grocery bills. Basically, we eat like we're roommates.
But interdietary cohabitation can be tough for some people, especially if you're really particular about having any meat products in the house or if you feel ethically uncomfortable dating/partnering with someone who contributes to factory farm cruelty. I don't like it. But I know I can't change him, and if he decides to give up meat some day, it will be on his own terms.
But there's a new cookbook/relationship manifesto with recipes and tips for people in blended vegan-omni relationships and for the lucky bastards in vegan-on-vegan relationships. It's called The Lusty Vegan, and it's written by Ayinde Howell (of I Eat Grass fame) and Zoe Eisenberg.
This is part cookbook, part relationship guide. But before you go thinkin' it's filled with self-help fluff, think again. Ayinde and Zoe share tips on interdietary relationships, finding a vegan partner, and other love-related stuff through sharing their own personal stories of relationships gone right and wrong. Names are changed to protect their past partners, of course. But it's fun to read those stories, like the one about Ayinde's ex "Ginger," who ordered a burger on their first date. Ayinde is a gold-star vegan (meaning he's never eaten meat), but they managed to date for quite awhile.
The recipes are organized into categories like "Recipes to Impress Your Vegan" (dishes omnis can make for their vegan partners), "Recipes to Impress Your Omni" (the opposite), "A Very Special Dinner Menu" (for that first awkward family holiday celebration, when you realize your partner's mom puts meat in all the vegetables), "The Morning After" (breakfast recipes!), "Recipes for Cohabitation," and so on. There's even a "Food for Sex" section with aphrodiasic foods and a section on break-up foods (basically all desserts, of course).
I chose two recipes to try. I made the Tofu Sausage Pizza Sliders from the chapter of recipes omnis could make to impress vegan dates.
I believe these were included in that chapter because they're so easy. Even an omni can make this without running all over town looking for weird ingredients. They're little English muffin pizzas with Daiya cheese, red pepper, red onion, marinara, and a homemade tofu sausage. I'd never thought to make sausage using tofu, but it is soooooo goooood. Crumbled tofu is seasoned with sausage-y herbs, like sage, rosemary, oregano, basil, and garlic. Yum!
I also made the Truffle-Roasted Vegetable Medley from the special dinner menu chapter.
Very special indeed. It's finally cool enough around here to turn the oven on for extended periods, and all the lovely winter squashes are out, so it seemed like a good time to try this dish. Plus, truffle oil! This is a simple dish made with roasted squash (I used acorn), sweet potato, turnips, carrots, and red onion. The veggies are tossed with truffle oil, which steps them up about 10,000 notches.
Whether you're in a mixed relationship or a vegan dating a vegan, there's something in The Lusty Vegan for you. Who doesn't need a recipe for Habanero Jackfruit Tacos or Mexican Lasagna? Nacho Mac & Cheese? Seitan Parmesan Nuggets with Ranch Dressing?
Well, if you want those recipes in your life (as well as some handy relationship advice), enter my Lusty Vegan giveaway! The publisher has requested that the giveaway be limited to US residents only. So if you live in the U.S., leave a comment about how you deal with vegan dating/partnering and be sure to include an email address so I can contact you if you win. That last part is very important! Good luck! I'll select a winner on Sunday night.
50 comments:
Oh, I didn't realize you and Paul actually lived together! Am I late to the game?
I really enjoy sharing food with a partner, but I don't insist they be vegan; just open. It's just happened that most of the people I've dated have been at least vegetarian. It's lucky.
Did you share the meals with Paul, or just eat them yrself?
Hi,
I would love to win a copy of The Lusty Vegan. I just read an interview with the authors yesterday and I am so intrigued with the concept.
Hi Bianca,
I am in a "mixed" marriage--I have been vegan all of my adult life and my husband is a hard core meat and fish eater. We have never had a problem with our dietary differences though. Love conquers all. I prepare my vegan meals which he calls "funny food" and I shop for him--he eats mostly takeout. Since I grew up in a carnivorous home, I do know how to prepare meat and fish and I have done so for him once in a while. When we eat out or travel I always find salads or vegetable sides to eat. I ask the waiter for assistance if I have any questions about how the food was prepared. I would love to win The Lusty Kitchen. My email address is urbannaturale@gmail.com Thanks for offering this qiveaway. All the best, Deborah
I've been lucky enough that my romantic interests have shown interests in eating my vegan food.
BeccaMFerguson@hotmail.com
I don't deal with it, it's eat my food or go hungry. Hubby is an omni when we dine out, but no animal flesh is allowed in my kitchen. Just had number 42, so I guess it works.
I'm single and not dating at the moment so it's not an issue. I'm not sure I could date someone who revels in eating meat.
Luckily my husband went vegan when I did. I could still use new recipes as I tend to get stuck in ruts where I make the things every week.
Well, my husband can't cook for beans. So he eats what I make and enjoys most of it. If we go out to eat he will order meat, or eat it at gatherings, and VERY RARELY cook it in the house. I try not to be pushy because he has come a LONNNGGG way in the amount of meat he eats from when we got together 6 years ago. Phew, anyway....book looks great! ;)
My long term relationship is "mixed" as well. He does eat vegan a lot of the time just because I make breakfast for both of us every day, and usually our home meals are shared and vegan. I try to pay extra attention to what vegan dishes he likes and dislikes, so I can make more in the first category. Plus, it's a good way to know if a recipe is worthy of sharing on my blog. :)
I love the idea behind this cookbook! In the early days, we would get by frequently by making two variations of the same meal. One pan of meaty lasagna, and one pan of veggie.
I've been lucky and my partner eats mainly plant based he will on occasion have dairy or fish while out but at home he has what I knyquol@gmail.com
My boyfriend is a VERY picky omni. I don't think he will ever change. But he knows how important being vegan is to me. And he does like the vegan cookies I have made!
wright_hr@yadtel.net
I'm not currently co-habitating with someone, but do keep a vegan-friendly kitchen. This means that no animal products come into it and that when I cook for my sweetie, he eats vegan-friendly fare. When we eat out, he'll sometimes opt for animal-free food depending on where we go, but as much as I wish that he'd stop using other animals, I don't expect him to simply make a token gesture out of deference to me.
m.of.the.maritimes at gmail.com
Luckily, my husband was very open and non-fussy when I removed animal products from my cooking. I prepare all the meals, so he just went with the flow. Now he's 90% vegan himself. monsteratemy AT gmail
I am lucky that when I was dating my husband, he became a vegetarian. After a few years as a vegetarian he became vegan. He became vegan shortly after we moved in together because I did most of the cooking & I enjoyed all the vegan foods very much!
e-mail: jeni7282@gmail.com.
My husband was an omni (in fact, he was a hunter ) but we always made it work. I'm totally down with dating omni's as long as they're open minded enough to at least try my food.
I would love to win "The Lusty Vegan". Thank you for the opportunity!
YES! I've been waiting for this book to come out. Much like you and Paul, my partner and I shop and eat like we're roommates. We have such different schedules and different values when it comes to food. This was very hard when I initially became vegan. He has always been very supportive of my lifestyle, but sometimes I still struggle with everything being so separate. Can't wait for the insight this book will bring! :)
amber.sproul@gmail
My new boyfriend (of about 9 months) is a carnivore of the midwestern variety (ie, he is afraid of most vegetables and will only eat onions, potatoes, carrots, etc) -- though let it be known that he LOVES my vegan chili and I snuck kale into that! If I cook at home usually it's just for myself now, but last night I made spaghetti with spicy marinara, and occasionally I'll do something like vegan tacos or fried rice. So far he's loved everything I've cooked. I won't change him but maybe I can get some greens into him once in a while <3 My email address is amber at enigmatic dot org and THANKS!
I'm a vegan, my hubby's a vegetarian. I'm glad there's no meat in the house :)
inalather@yahoo.com
I would LOVE this book. I find myself usually dating omnis, and although most are respectful of my choices, it makes for less enjoyable shared dining experiences.
I recently fell for a vegetarian, and teaching him to cook has been a blast! I'd love to get him this book.
Kate (kate61377 at yahoo)
My boyfriend became vegan in the fall of 2008 and I quickly hoped on board in early 2009. A few years later, I decided to go full vegan; since I do all the cooking, my boyfriend pretty much became vegan by default and was totally on board!
Forgot to put my email blakebakesfl (at) gmail (dot) com
I would love to win this copy of The Lusty Vegan. One of my biggest fears with relationships is ending up in one with a non-vegan. I've dealt with this in many a friend relationship and it's been fine but I would love advice on dealing with non-vegan romantic partners. You can contact me at jenncox611@gmail.com.
My boyfriend is very much a bacon cheeseburger dude so we don't share a lot of food, but sometimes we'll have salad nights together (he's BYO ham, ha) and I HAVE turned him onto nooch, which is my victory of the decade.
lynsi.burton@gmail.com
When we go out to eat my partner orders whatever he wants, but if im cooking something its always vegan.
smariabr@gmail.com
I'm in a mixed marriage. Luckily, my husband loves my food and never makes a fuss. We often laugh because though he is an omni, he ends up eating about 85% vegan. He only eats meat when he goes out, which isn't often. We've been married for almost 22 years, so we must be doing something right!
My fiance is an omni but he's very accommodating and doesn't mind hitting up a purely vegan place now and then. And he's a great sport when I pepper the server with a million questions at omni restaurants.
It's been years since I've dated, but back in the day, we always tried to find a place to go where we each could get something that fit our food choices. karengdelaney (at) yahoo {dot} com
When I became vegan, my then-boyfriend, now-husband, was really supportive and went along with only vegan food at home. He'd eat omni out for a while, but then started eating vegetarian out, and is now vegan both at home and out.
Hi Bianca,
I'm a vegan and my husband is an omnivore. But, he is willing to try began food. And when some of our meals are prepared we do the vegan things first. The omnivore things are done separately and my husband adds them to his dish. We've been married for 46 years so I guess it's working well for us. When we go out to eat my husband orders what he wants to eat and I order something vegan. It can work if both people are willing to try hard to keep the other one happy and make a few compromises..like having his omnivore food cooked separately.
Thank you so much for having this contest.
hugs,
Shayna
shaynamaydle@gmail.com
I've been pretty fortunate that the omnis I've dated have been open to my cooking and to eating at vegan-friendly places. An omni has even cooked a from-scratch vegan dinner for me! Thanks so much for the giveaway; can't wait to have a copy of this in my hands.
I'm lucky to be partnered with a fellow vegan. When we first started dating, I was vegetarian and he was omnivore; he went veg not long after we adopted our first dog, who got him thinking about animal issues. When I finally made the leap to veganism, he did too. I guess it also helped that I did most of the shopping and cooking at the time!
I had just seen that book at a local book store the other weekend and thought it looked great! My husband isn't vegan, but eats vegan with me for all dinners at home and usually leftovers or vegetarian during lunch. He does still eat meat when out though - can't get him to give up bacon or wings! However, it is awesome that he is the one that suggests we try new vegan restaurants! He's pretty great :) Glad that you & Paul have a system down too! my email is laurenrose825@gmail.com.
My husband was an omni when we met. I never tried to convert him, but did share my food with him when he was interested. Eventually, he gave up meat "to see if he could do it," and has been vegetarian ever since. I don't know what the moral of this story is, so it's good that someone else wrote the book on vegan omni dating.
My husband and I went vegan together, so it's never been an issue. But I do have a six-year-old who still loves mac and cheese and has never been fully satisfied by the vegan versions. I'd love to find some great vegan subs to get her mind off of it. Those little pizzas look like a great start!
My honey is a meat-eater. I have been vegan for about 15 years and I cook vegan at home. But he eats burgers out.
It hasn't been an issue in our family and I'm not "on the market" so I can't really answer this question. But I hope I'm still in the running to win the book.
I think cooking for the omnis in your life is always a great bridge-crossing act, with the benefit that you get to enjoy all the food as well.
I'm vegan my husband isn't. So he eats what I cook and if he wants to add a non vegan component he either goes next door (our neighbors are always grilling and share with him a lot) or he makes his own. But yesterday after talking to my 15 year old niece who has gone vegetarian he asked me why she chose to and I told him she watched forks over knives and realized she couldn't eat meat anymore and he got interested and asked if we could watch it this weekend... So we'll see where this leads! joy.clark@gmail.com
I am looking for a new relationship since going vegan and this is something I definitely need. Don't know how to have relationship with omni now and this book would really help! Glrypnts3@yahoo.com
I'm single and I don't think I could be with someone that didn't share my values re: animal rights. I am really good at cooking vegan stuff that omnis like and that does build bridges :)
achathampally at gmail dot com
I am not seeing anyone at this moment but I don't think I would mind dating someone who is an omni.
somersetoneil13@gmail.com
*sniffle* I don't have a way to deal with a vegan partnership because I've never even been in a relationship! That's the REAL problem! And I'm a college student....what the fuck am I doing wrong?! Oh well, my truest love is food so I guess it wouldn't be fair to my man haha.
I haven't dated anyone since recently switching to vegan but I think I'd cook a lot of great vegan recipes to show how good vegan cooking can be rather than try to explain it verbally.
all looks so tasty!
all looks so tasty!
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